/Users/andrea/_magisterarbeit/korpus/clean/trainkorpus/17/file_91.html NN ----------------------------------------- : Humor NN page NN or CC Table NN of IN Content JJ Misc NN Quotes VVZ Bumper NN Stickers NNS It PP is VBZ a DT good JJ thing NN for IN an DT uneducated JJ man NN to TO read VV books NNS of IN quotations NNS . SENT Winston NP Churchill NP . SENT The DT following VVG are VBP humorous JJ and CC sometimes RB serious JJ too RB quotes NNS gathered VVN from IN the DT Web NP , , Usenet's NP personal JJ . SENT sig NP and CC other JJ sources NNS . SENT Since IN it's JJS all PDT a DT big JJ rip NN off RB , , I PP am VBP assuming VVG no DT copyright NN whatsoever RB . SENT I PP don't VVD even RB guarantee VV that IN they PP are VBP accurate JJ . SENT Now RB that DT you've NN been VBN warned VVN , , enjoy VVP . SENT Analyzing VVG humor NN is VBZ like IN dissecting VVG a DT frog NN . SENT Few JJ people NNS are VBP interested VVN , , and CC the DT frog NN dies VVZ of IN it PP . 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SENT Tool NN vocalist NN Maynard NP James NP Keenan NP when WRB asked VVD about RB whether IN or CC not RB he PP reads VVZ the DT bible NN . SENT I PP am VBP an DT atheist NN , , out RB and CC out RB . SENT It PP took VVD me PP a DT long JJ time NN to TO say VV it PP . SENT I've NNS been VBN an DT atheist NN for IN years NNS and CC years NNS , , but CC somehow RB I PP felt VVD it PP was VBD intellectually RB unrespectable JJ to TO say VV that IN one PP is VBZ an DT atheist NN , , because IN it PP assumed VVD knowledge NN that IN one CD didn't NN have VHP . SENT Somehow RB it PP was VBD better RBR to TO say VV one PP was VBD a DT humanist NN or CC agnostic NN . SENT I PP don't VVD have VH the DT evidence NN to TO prove VV that DT God NP doesn't NN exist VVP , , but CC I PP so RB strongly RB suspect VVP that IN he PP doesn't VVD that IN I PP don't VVD want VV to TO waste VV my PP$ time NN . SENT Isaac NP Asimov NP . SENT If IN you're NN following VVG the DT news NN , , you PP know VVP that IN the DT major JJ religions NNS differ VVP in IN their PP$ interpretation NN of IN the DT holy JJ books NNS . SENT For IN example NN , , one CD way NN to TO interpret VV God's NP will NN is VBZ that IN you PP should MD love VV your PP$ neighbor NN . SENT An DT alternate JJ reading NN of IN the DT holy JJ books NNS might MD lead VV you PP to TO rig NN a DT donkey NN cart NN with IN small JJ mortar NN rockets NNS and CC aim VV it PP at IN a DT hotel NN full JJ of IN infidels NNS . SENT In IN summary NN , , po NN tay NN to TO , , poh NP tah NNS to TO . SENT Religions NNS are VBP very RB flexible JJ . SENT From IN Scott NP Adams NP Holiday NP Thoughts NNS , , 2003 CD . SENT My PP$ bible JJ thumping JJ cousin NN once RB claimed VVD that IN Jesus NP must MD have VH risen VVN from IN the DT dead NN since IN thousands NNS of IN people NNS saw VVD him PP after IN the DT resurection NN . SENT I PP simply RB pointed VVD out RP that DT if IN that WDT was VBD the DT case NN then RB Elvis NP should MD be VB deified VVN because IN thousands NNS of IN people NNS have VHP seen VVN him PP in IN McDonalds NP since IN 1977 CD . SENT Rand NP Race NP . SENT Ignorance NN is VBZ the DT Mother NP of IN Devotion NN . SENT Robert NP Burton NP . SENT The DT command NN , , Be VB fruitful JJ and CC multiply VV , , was VBD promulgated VVD , , according VVG to TO our PP$ authorities NNS , , when WRB the DT population NN of IN the DT world NN consisted VVD of IN two CD persons NNS . SENT Dean NP William NP R NP . SENT Inge NP . SENT 1 LS . SENT He PP called VVD everyone NN brother NN 2 CD . SENT He PP liked VVD Gospel NN 3 CD . SENT He PP couldn't NN get VV a DT fair JJ trial NN . SENT 3 CD good JJ arguments NNS that IN Jesus NP was VBD Black JJ . SENT 1 LS . SENT He PP went VVD into IN His PP$ Fathers NNS business NN . SENT 2 LS . SENT He PP lived VVD at IN home NN until IN he PP was VBD 33 JJ . SENT 3 LS . SENT He PP was VBD sure RB his PP$ Mother NP was VBD a DT virgin JJ and CC his PP$ mother NN was VBD sure JJ he PP was VBD God NP . SENT 3 CD good JJ arguments NNS that IN Jesus NP was VBD Jewish JJ . SENT 1 LS . SENT He PP talked VVD with IN his PP$ hands NNS . SENT 2 LS . SENT He PP had VHD wine NN with IN every DT meal NN . SENT 3 LS . SENT He PP used VVD olive JJ oil NN . SENT 3 CD good JJ arguments NNS that IN Jesus NP was VBD Italian JJ . SENT 1 LS . SENT He PP never RB cut VVD his PP$ hair NN . SENT 2 LS . SENT He PP walked VVD around RP barefoot RB all PDT the DT time NN . SENT 3 LS . SENT He PP started VVD a DT new JJ religion NN . SENT 3 CD good JJ arguments NNS that IN Jesus NP was VBD a DT Californian NP . SENT 1 LS . SENT He PP never RB got VVD married JJ . SENT 2 LS . SENT He PP was VBD always RB telling VVG stories NNS 3 CD . SENT He PP loved VVD green JJ pastures NNS . SENT 3 CD good JJ arguments NNS that IN Jesus NP was VBD Irish JJ . SENT 1 LS . SENT He PP had VHD to TO feed VV a DT crowd NN at IN a DT moment's NNS notice VVP when WRB there EX was VBD no DT food NN . SENT 2 LS . SENT He PP kept VVD trying VVG to TO get VV a DT message NN across IN to TO a DT bunch NN of IN men NNS who WP just RB didn't VVD get VV it PP . SENT 3 LS . SENT Even RB when WRB he PP was VBD dead JJ , , He PP had VHD to TO get VV up RP because IN there EX was VBD more JJR work NN for IN Him PP to TO do VV . SENT 3 CD proofs NNS that IN Jesus NP was VBD a DT woman NN . SENT Water NN into IN Wine NN and CC Loaves NNS and CC Fishes NNS were VBD pretty RB good JJ , , but CC Oregano NN into IN Primo NP Mexican NP Weed NP was VBD truly RB impressive JJ . SENT Top JJ miracle NN not RB mentioned VVN in IN the DT Bible NP . SENT Religion NN is VBZ a DT cow NN . SENT It PP gives VVZ milk NN , , but CC it PP also RB kicks VVZ . SENT Buddha NN Religious JJ belief NN is VBZ a DT mental JJ illness NN . SENT A DT contagious JJ one CD . SENT The DT Bible NP is VBZ probably RB the DT most RBS genocidal JJ book NN ever RB written VVN . SENT Noam NP Chomsky NP . SENT Well RB , , you PP could MD become VV a DT Southern NP Baptist NP . SENT I PP mean VVP , , instead RB of IN having VHG to TO obey VV the DT Pope NP , , you PP could MD just RB obey VV your PP$ husband NN . SENT Arianna NP Huffington NP about IN papal JJ infallibility NN . SENT God NP used VVD to TO be VB the DT best JJS explanation NN we'd NN got VVD , , and CC we've NN now RB got VVD vastly RB better JJR ones NNS . SENT God NP is VBZ no DT longer RBR an DT explanation NN of IN anything NN , , but CC has VHZ instead RB become VVN something NN that WDT would MD itself PP need VV an DT insurmountable JJ amount NN of IN explaining VVG . SENT Douglas NP Adams NP . SENT I'd NP take VVP the DT awe NN of IN understanding NN over IN the DT awe NN of IN ignorance NN any DT day NN . SENT Douglas NP Adams NP . SENT Just RB in IN terms NNS of IN allocation NN of IN time NN resources NNS , , religion NN is VBZ not RB very RB efficient JJ . SENT There's RB a DT lot NN more RBR I PP could MD be VB doing VVG on IN a DT Sunday NP morning NN . SENT Bill NP Gates NP . SENT It's NP funny JJ people NNS think VVP analysis NN or CC psychiatry NN is VBZ mad JJ , , and CC THEY PP go VVP to TO CHURCH NN . SENT . SENT . SENT John NP Malkovich NP . SENT Acceptance NN without IN proof NN is VBZ the DT fundamental JJ characteristic NN of IN Western JJ religion NN , , Rejection NN without IN proof NN is VBZ the DT fundamental JJ characteristic NN of IN Western JJ science NN . SENT Gary NP Zukav NP , , The DT Dancing VVG Wu NP Li NP Masters NP . SENT Believe VV those DT who WP are VBP seeking VVG the DT truth NN . SENT Doubt VV those DT who WP find VVP it PP . SENT Andre NP Gide NP . SENT In IN my PP$ life NN , , I PP have VHP prayed VVN but CC one CD prayer NN . SENT Oh UH Lord NP , , make VVP my PP$ enemies NNS ridiculous JJ . SENT And CC God NP granted VVD it PP . SENT Voltaire NP . SENT I PP am VBP free JJ of IN all DT prejudices NNS . SENT I PP hate VVP everyone NN equally RB . SENT W NP . SENT C SYM . SENT Fields NNS . SENT And CC of IN all DT plagues NNS with IN which WDT mankind NN are VBP curst JJ , , Ecclesiastic JJ tyranny's NNS the DT worst JJS . SENT Daniel NP Defoe NP 1660 CD 1731 CD , , British JJ journalist NN and CC writer NN . SENT This DT would MD be VB the DT best JJS of IN all DT possible JJ worlds NNS if IN there EX were VBD no DT religion NN in IN it PP . SENT John NP Adams NP , , 2 CD nd NN president NN of IN the DT U NP . SENT S NP . SENT The DT Christian JJ ideal NN has VHZ not RB been VBN tried VVN and CC found VVN wanting VVG . SENT it PP has VHZ been VBN found VVN difficult JJ and CC left VVN untried JJ . SENT G NP . SENT K NP . SENT Chesterton NP . SENT What WP have VHP been VBN the DT fruits NNS of IN Christianity NN . SENT Superstition NN , , bigotry NN and CC persecution NN . SENT James NP Madison NP , , 4 CD th NN president NN of IN the DT U NP . SENT S NP . SENT ZEUS NP n NN . SENT The DT chief NN of IN Grecian JJ gods NNS , , adored VVN by IN the DT Romans NNS as IN Jupiter NP and CC by IN the DT modern JJ Americans NNS as IN God NP , , Gold NP , , Mob NN and CC Dog NP . SENT Ambrose NP Bierce NP . SENT Q NP . SENT How WRB do VVP you PP get VV holy JJ water NN . SENT A DT . SENT You PP boil VV the DT hell NN out RP of IN it PP . SENT There's RB a DT Bible NP on IN that DT shelf NN there RB . SENT But CC I PP keep VVP it PP next JJ to TO Voltaire NN poison NN and CC antidote NN . SENT Bertrand NP Russell NP 1872 CD 1970 CD British JJ philosopher NN . SENT The DT more RBR I PP study VVP religions NNS the DT more JJR I PP am VBP convinced VVN that IN man NN never RB worshipped VVD anything NN but CC himself PP . SENT Sir NP Richard NP Burton NP . SENT Most JJS of IN the DT religions NNS have VHP exhibited VVN a DT perverse JJ talent NN for IN taking VVG the DT wrong JJ side NN on IN the DT most RBS important JJ concepts NNS in IN the DT material NN universe NN , , from IN the DT structure NN of IN the DT solar JJ system NN to TO the DT origin NN of IN man NN . SENT Wasn't NP the DT bible NN written VVN by IN the DT same JJ people NNS who WP said VVD the DT Earth NN was VBD flat JJ . SENT When WRB did VVD ignorance NN become VV a DT point NN of IN view NN . SENT Scott NP Adams NP . SENT Faith NN can MD move VV mountains NNS . SENT true JJ . SENT mountains NNS of IN stupidity NN . SENT Andr NP Gide NP , , French JJ writer NN Nobel NP prize NN 1947 CD . SENT I PP do VVP not RB believe VV in IN the DT creed NN professed VVN by IN the DT Jewish JJ church NN , , by IN the DT Roman NP church NN , , by IN the DT Greek JJ church NN , , by IN the DT Turkish JJ church NN , , by IN the DT Protestant JJ church NN , , nor CC by IN any DT church NN that IN I PP know VVP of IN . SENT . SENT . SENT Each DT of IN those DT churches NNS accuse VVP the DT other JJ of IN unbelief NN . SENT and CC for IN my PP$ own JJ part NN , , I PP disbelieve VV them PP all DT . SENT Thomas NP Paine NP , , The DT Age NP of IN Reason NP . SENT Religion NN is VBZ a DT bandage NN that IN man NN has VHZ invented VVN to TO protect VV a DT soul NN made VVD bloody JJ by IN circumstance NN . SENT Theodore NP Herman NP Albert NP Dreiser NP 1871 CD 1945 CD . SENT I PP think VVP that IN God NP , , in IN creating VVG man NN , , somewhat RB overestimated VVD his PP$ ability NN . SENT Oscar NP Wilde NP . SENT Rumour NN has VHZ it PP that IN only RB 3 CD commandments NNS were VBD offered VVN initially RB . SENT When WRB it PP was VBD determined VVN that IN it PP was VBD for IN free JJ , , well RB . SENT . SENT . SENT A DT fanatic JJ is VBZ one CD who WP can't VVD change VV his PP$ mind NN and CC won't NN change NN the DT subject NN . SENT Winston NP Churchill NP The DT most RBS basic JJ reason NN why WRB God NP could MD not RB do VV it PP is VBZ because IN the DT concept NN of IN God NP requires VVZ humans NNS to TO exist VV . SENT If IN you're NN born VVN again RB , , do VVP you PP have VHP two CD bellybuttons NNS . SENT A DT fanatic JJ is VBZ a DT man NN who WP does VVZ what WP he PP thinks VVZ the DT Lord NP would MD do VV if IN He PP knew VVD the DT facts NNS of IN the DT case NN . SENT Finley NP Peter NP Dunne NP 1867 CD 1936 CD . SENT Jesus NP loves VVZ you PP , , but CC personally RB I PP think VVP you PP are VBP an DT asshole NN . SENT He PP is VBZ YOUR PP$ godThey NN are VBP YOUR PP$ rulesYOU NN burn VV in IN hell NN . SENT Jehovah's NP Witnesses NNS coupled VVN with IN OH UH NO UH . SENT are VBP universal JJ to TO all DT languages NNS and CC cultures NNS . SENT Mankind NN will MD only RB really RB be VB free JJ , , once RB the DT last JJ king NN was VBD strangled VVN with IN the DT entrails NN of IN the DT last JJ priest NN . SENT Jean NP Meslier NP 1729 CD , , French JJ priest NN , , in IN a DT letter NN he PP left VVD after IN his PP$ death NN . SENT Whenever WRB books NNS are VBP burned VVN men NNS also RB in IN the DT end NN are VBP burned VVN . SENT Heinrich NP Heine NP . SENT Humanity's NP first JJ sin NN was VBD faith NN . SENT the DT first JJ virtue NN was VBD doubt NN . SENT Mike NP Huben NP . SENT An DT atheist NN doesn't NN have VHP to TO be VB someone NN who WP thinks VVZ he PP has VHZ a DT proof NN that IN there RB can't NN be VB a DT god NN . SENT He PP only RB has VHZ to TO be VB someone NN who WP believes VVZ that IN the DT evidence NN on IN the DT God NP question NN is VBZ at IN a DT similar JJ level NN to TO the DT evidence NN on IN the DT werewolf NN question NN . SENT John NP McCarthy NP , , inventor NN of IN Lisp NN . SENT An DT Atheist NN is VBZ a DT man NN who WP has VHZ no DT invisible JJ means NN of IN support NN . SENT John NP Buchan NP 1875 CD 1940 CD . SENT Christ NP died VVD for IN our PP$ sins NNS . SENT Dare VV we PP make VV his PP$ martyrdom NN meaningless JJ by IN not RB committing VVG them PP . SENT Jules NP Feiffer NP . SENT If IN God NP were VBD a DT liberal JJ , , he PP would MD have VH given VVN Moses NP the DT Ten CD Suggestions NNS . SENT A DT person NN who WP has VHZ both DT feet NNS planted VVN firmly RB in IN the DT air NN can MD be VB safely RB called VVN a DT liberal NN . SENT If IN only RB God NP would MD give VV me PP a DT clear JJ sign NN . SENT Like IN making VVG a DT large JJ deposit NN in IN my PP$ name NN at IN a DT Swiss JJ bank NN . SENT Woody NP Allen NP . SENT It's NP too RB early RB for IN a DT Polish JJ pope NN . SENT Karol NP Wojtyla NP , , two CD days NNS before IN being VBG elected VVN Pope NP John NP Paul NP II NP . SENT The DT best JJS cure NN for IN Christianity NN is VBZ reading VVG the DT Bible NP . SENT Mark NN Twain NN . SENT Jesus NP never RB heard VVD of IN Beethoven NP and CC Bach NP . SENT Why WRB aren't JJ we PP playing VVG more JJR country NN music NN in IN church NN . SENT Tex NP Sample NP , , St NP . SENT Paul NP School NP of IN Theology NN Kansas NP City NP . SENT O NP Lord NP , , help VV me PP to TO be VB pure JJ , , but CC not RB yet RB . SENT St NP . SENT Augustine NP 354 CD 430 CD A DT . SENT D SYM . SENT . SENT When WRB I PP told VVD the DT people NNS of IN Northern NP Ireland NP that IN I PP was VBD an DT atheist NN , , a DT woman NN in IN the DT audience NN stood VVD up RP and CC said VVD , , Yes UH , , but CC is VBZ it PP the DT God NP of IN the DT Catholics NPS or CC the DT God NP of IN the DT Protestants NPS in IN whom WP you PP don't VVD believe VV . SENT Quentin NP Crisp NP In IN the DT beginning NN , , there EX was VBD nothing NN . SENT And CC God NP said VVD , , Let VVD there EX be VB Light NP . SENT And CC there EX was VBD still RB nothing NN . SENT But CC , , you PP could MD see VV it PP . SENT God NP must MD love VV stupid JJ people NNS . SENT . SENT . SENT He PP made VVD so RB MANY JJ of IN them PP . SENT I'm NP strictly RB against IN people NNS being VBG allowed VVN to TO declare VV a DT religious JJ affiliation NN they PP are VBP not RB even RB capable JJ of IN spelling VVG correctly RB . SENT David NP Kastrup NP . SENT Why WRB do VVP most JJS forms NNS of IN swearing VVG reference NN either CC deities NNS or CC genitals NN . SENT Q NP . SENT What WP would MD happen VV if IN the DT Pilgrims NNS had VHD killed VVN cats NNS instead RB of IN turkeys NNS . SENT A DT . SENT We'd NP eat VVP pussy JJ every DT Thanksgiving NP . SENT Islamic JJ women NNS can MD do VV kinky JJ things NNS with IN their PP$ ankles NNS . SENT That's NNS why WRB the DT Koran NN says VVZ they PP aren't NN supposed VVN to TO reveal VV them PP in IN public NN . SENT There EX is VBZ no DT difference NN between IN someone NN who WP eats VVZ too RB little JJ and CC sees VVZ Heaven NN and CC someone NN who WP drinks NNS too RB much RB and CC sees VVZ snakes NNS . SENT Bertrand NP Russell NP . SENT Atheism NN is VBZ a DT non JJ prophet NN organization NN . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT Oh UH Lord NP , , Deliver VV me PP from IN thy NN followers NNS . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT Puritanism NN n NN . SENT . SENT The DT haunting NN fear NN that IN someone NN , , somewhere RB may MD be VB happy JJ There RB ain't JJ no DT devil NN , , it's NNS just RB god NN when WRB he's NNS drunk JJ . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT Where WRB there EX is VBZ no DT religion NN , , hypocrisy NN becomes VVZ good JJ taste NN . SENT George NP Bernard NP Shaw NP . SENT When WRB I PP was VBD young JJ I PP used VVD to TO pray VV for IN a DT bike NN . SENT Then RB I PP realized VVD that DT God NP doesn't NN work NN that IN way NN , , so RB I PP stole VVD a DT bike NN and CC prayed VVD for IN forgiveness NN . SENT Thanks NNS to TO Dan NP Gadino NP . SENT There EX are VBP three CD ways NNS a DT man NN can MD be VB ruined VVN . SENT women NNS , , gambling NN , , and CC farming NN . SENT My PP$ father NN chose VVD the DT most RBS boring JJ . SENT Pope NP John NP XXIII NP . SENT 1881 CD 1963 CD . SENT The DT problem NN with IN people NNS who WP have VHP no DT vices NNS is VBZ that IN generally RB you PP can MD be VB pretty RB sure JJ they're NN going VVG to TO have VH some DT pretty RB annoying VVG virtues NNS . SENT Elizabeth NP Taylor NP . SENT So RB far RB as IN I PP can MD remember VV , , there EX is VBZ not RB one CD word NN in IN the DT Gospels NNS in IN praise NN of IN intelligence NN . SENT Bertrand NP Russell NP . SENT Why WRB should MD I PP hate VVP someone NN on IN the DT basis NN of IN their PP$ religion NN , , when WRB I PP can MD take VV a DT little JJ time NN to TO get VV to TO know VV them PP and CC hate VVP them PP for IN a DT myriad JJ of IN real JJ reasons NNS Dennis NP Miller NP . SENT MILITANT JJ AGNOSTIC NN . SENT I NP Don't NP Know NP And CC You PP Don't NP Either DT . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT Sorry RB I PP missed VVD church NN . SENT . SENT . SENT I PP was VBD busy JJ practicing VVG witchcraft NN and CC becoming VVG a DT lesbian NN . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT In IN big JJ print NN . SENT Jesus NP Loves VVZ You PP In IN fine JJ print NN . SENT Everybody NN else RB thinks VVZ you're NN an DT asshole NN Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT Jehova NP witness NN . SENT But CC sir NN , , don't VVD you PP want VVP eternal JJ life NN . SENT Yeah UH , , but CC not RB if IN it's JJ gonna VVG be VB with IN a DT bunch NN of IN Jehovah NP Witnesses NNS , , I PP mean VVP what WP kind NN of IN heaven NN is VBZ that IN . SENT Classic JJ how WRB to TO get VV rid JJ of IN JW NP trick NN . SENT Go VV to TO Heaven NN for IN the DT climate NN , , Hell NN for IN the DT company NN . SENT Mark NN Twain NN . SENT History NN has VHZ the DT relation NN to TO truth NN that IN theology NN has VHZ to TO religion NN i NP . SENT e SYM . SENT , , none NN to TO speak VV of IN . SENT Lazarus NP Long NP . SENT I PP don't VVD know VV that WDT atheists NNS should MD be VB considered VVN as IN citizens NNS , , nor CC should MD they PP be VB considered VVN patriots NNS . SENT This DT is VBZ one CD nation NN under IN God NP . SENT President NP George NP Bush NP , , August NP 27 CD , , 1988 CD . SENT Sex NN education NN classes NNS in IN our PP$ public JJ schools NNS are VBP promoting VVG incest NN . SENT Jimmy NP Swaggart NP , , TV NN preacher NN , , self NN described VVD pornography NN addict NN who WP paid VVD prostitutes NNS to TO commit VV pornographic JJ acts NNS . SENT hypocrite NN . SENT Those DT who WP will MD not RB reason VV , , are VBP bigots NNS , , those DT who WP cannot NN , , are VBP fools NNS , , and CC those DT who WP dare VVP not RB , , are VBP slaves NNS . SENT Lord NP Byron NP . SENT Q NP . SENT How WRB do VVP you PP play VV religious JJ roulette NN . SENT A DT . SENT You PP stand VVP around RP in IN a DT circle NN and CC blaspheme VV and CC see VV who WP gets VVZ struck VVN by IN lightning NN first JJ . SENT To TO YOU PP I'm NP an DT atheist NN . SENT to TO God NP , , I'm NP the DT Loyal NP Opposition NN . SENT Woody NP Allen NP . SENT I PP don't VVD care VV WHO WP you PP are VBP , , you're NNS not RB walking VVG on IN the DT water NN while IN I'm NP fishing NN . SENT If IN God NP really RB wanted VVD us PP to TO watch VV those DT Sunday NP morning NN religious JJ shows NNS , , he'd JJ make VVP their PP$ reception NN better RBR than IN the DT cartoons NNS on IN the DT other JJ channels NNS . SENT Michael NP E NP . SENT Nelson NP . SENT Your PP$ Highness NN , , I PP have VHP no DT need NN of IN this DT hypothesis NN . SENT Pierre NP Laplace NP 1749 CD 1827 CD , , to TO Napoleon NP on IN why WRB his PP$ works NNS on IN celestial JJ mechanics NNS made VVD no DT mention NN of IN God NP . SENT If IN going VVG to TO church NN makes VVZ you PP a DT Christian JJ , , does VVZ going VVG to TO a DT garage NN make VV you PP a DT car NN . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT One PP should MD not RB go VV into IN churches NNS if IN one PP wants VVZ to TO breathe VV pure JJ air NN . SENT Friedrich NP Nietzsche NP . SENT If IN you PP talk VVP to TO God NP , , you PP are VBP praying VVG . SENT if IN God NP talks NNS to TO you PP , , you PP have VHP schizophrenia NN . SENT Thomas NP Szasy NP . SENT I PP was VBD thinking VVG about IN how WRB people NNS seem VVP to TO read VV the DT Bible NP a DT whole JJ lot NN more RBR as IN they PP get VVP older JJR then RB it PP dawned VVD on IN me PP . SENT . SENT . SENT they PP are VBP cramming VVG for IN their PP$ finals NNS . SENT Christianity NN , , as IN many JJ religions NNS , , was VBD just RB dreamed VVN up RP by IN a DT couple NN people NNS with IN really RB good JJ imaginations NNS , , a DT lot NN of IN time NN on IN their PP$ hands NNS , , and CC even RB some DT herbal JJ help NN . SENT I PP mean VVP , , who WP would MD dream VV up RP half NN of IN that DT crap NN without IN being VBG totally RB baked VVN . SENT Jillian NP A NP . SENT Spencer NP . SENT I PP contend VVP that IN we PP are VBP both DT atheists NNS . SENT I PP just RB believe VVP in IN one CD fewer JJR god NN than IN you PP do VVP . SENT When WRB you PP understand VVP why WRB you PP dismiss VVP all PDT the DT other JJ possible JJ gods NNS , , you PP will MD understand VV why WRB I PP dismiss VVP yours NNS . SENT Stephen NP F NP Roberts NP . SENT I PP have VHP encountered VVN a DT few JJ creationists NNS and CC because IN they PP were VBD usually RB nice JJ , , intelligent JJ people NNS , , I PP have VHP been VBN unable JJ to TO decide VV whether IN they PP were VBD really RB mad JJ or CC only RB pretending VVG to TO be VB mad JJ . SENT If IN I PP was VBD a DT religious JJ person NN , , I PP would MD consider VV creationism NN nothing NN less RBR than IN blasphemy NN . SENT Do VV its PP$ adherents NNS imagine VV that IN God NP is VBZ a DT cosmic JJ hoaxer NN who WP has VHZ created VVN the DT whole JJ vast JJ fossil JJ record NN for IN the DT sole JJ purpose NN of IN misleading JJ humankind NN . SENT Arthur NP C NP . SENT Clarke NP . SENT Geology NN shows NNS that IN fossils NNS are VBP of IN different JJ ages NNS . SENT Paleontology NN shows VVZ a DT fossil JJ sequence NN , , the DT list NN of IN species NNS represented VVD changes NNS through IN time NN . SENT Taxonomy NN shows VVZ biological JJ relationships NNS among IN species NNS . SENT Evolution NN is VBZ the DT explanation NN that IN threads NNS it PP all RB together RB . SENT Creationism NN is VBZ the DT practice NN of IN squeezing VVG one's NNS eyes NNS shut VVD and CC wailing VVG . SENT does VVZ not RB . SENT Dr NP . SENT Pepper NP . SENT If IN those DT folks NNS in IN Kansas NP are VBP right JJ about IN evolution NN never RB having VHG happened VVN , , I PP sure RB hope VVP it PP happens VVZ soon RB . SENT Michael NP Sheinbaum NP . SENT The DT creationists NNS have VHP this DT creator NN who WP is VBZ evil JJ , , who WP is VBZ small JJ minded VVD , , who WP is VBZ malevolent JJ , , and CC who WP is VBZ not RB very RB bright JJ and CC can't VVD even RB get VV his PP$ science NN right NN . SENT Creationists NNS have VHP made VVN their PP$ creator NN in IN their PP$ own JJ image NN , , in IN my PP$ view NN . SENT Ian NP Plimer NP , , The DT Skeptic JJ . SENT Televangelists NNS . SENT The DT Pro NP Wrestlers NNS of IN religion NN . SENT Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT Quotations NNS are VBP taken VVN from IN the DT Authorized VVN Version NP 1611 CD of IN the DT Bible NP unless IN otherwise RB stated VVN . SENT What WP do VVP you PP mean VVP . SENT There EX are VBP unauthorized JJ versions NNS . SENT And CC who's NNS checking NN . SENT God NP . SENT Me PP . SENT I PP refuse VVP to TO prove VV that IN I PP exist VVP says VVZ God NP , , for IN proof NN denies VVZ faith NN , , and CC without IN faith NN , , I PP am VBP nothing NN . SENT Oh UH , , says VVZ man NN , , but CC the DT Babel NP Fish NP is VBZ a DT dead JJ give VV away RB , , isn't VVD it PP . SENT It PP proves VVZ You PP exist VVP , , and CC so RB therefore RB You PP don't VVD . SENT Q NP . SENT E SYM . SENT D SYM . SENT Oh UH , , I PP hadn't VVD thought VVN of IN that DT . SENT says VVZ God NP , , who WP promptly RB vanishes VVZ in IN a DT puff NN of IN logic NN . SENT Hitchhiker's NP Guide NP to TO the DT Galaxy NN . SENT A DT celibate NN clergy NN is VBZ an DT especially RB good JJ idea NN as IN it PP eliminates VVZ any DT genetic JJ tendencies NNS towards IN fanaticism NN . SENT Carl NP Sagan NP . SENT Nuke NN an DT unborn JJ gay JJ whale NN for IN Jesus NP . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT I PP have VHP no DT problems NNS insulting VVG your PP$ faith NN because IN faith NN is VBZ quite RB simply RB dumb JJ . SENT More JJR quotes NNS about IN religion NN or CC lack NN thereof RB are VBP found VVN there RB . SENT Murphy's NP laws NNS Something NN tells VVZ me PP that IN they PP probably RB screwed VVD up RP and CC named VVD Murphy's NP Law NP after IN the DT wrong JJ guy NN . SENT Doug NP Finney NP . SENT Everybody NN must MD believe VV in IN something NN . SENT . SENT . SENT . SENT I PP believe VVP I'll NP have VHP another DT drink NN . SENT Murphy NP of IN Murphy's NP law NN fame NN . SENT enythink NN thiT NN ken NN Go NP rong NP willl NN . SENT Morfy's NP law NN . SENT A DT flashlight NN is VBZ a DT case NN for IN holding VVG dead JJ batteries NNS . SENT Danm JJ my PP$ spel NN cheker NN , , Sometimes RB I PP lie VVP awake RB at IN night NN , , and CC I PP ask VVP , , Where WRB did VVD I PP go VVP wrong JJ . SENT Then RB a DT voice NN says VVZ to TO me PP , , This DT is VBZ going VVG to TO take VV more JJR than IN one CD night NN . SENT Charlie NP Brown NP . SENT You PP can't VVD fall VV off RP the DT floor NN . SENT Paul's NP Law NP . SENT If IN we PP see VVP light NN at IN the DT end NN of IN the DT tunnel NN it PP is VBZ probably RB the DT light NN of IN an DT oncoming JJ train NN . SENT Robert NP Lowell NP 1917 CD 77 CD , , US NP poet NN . SENT Everybody NN lies VVZ , , but CC it PP doesn't VVD matter NN since IN nobody NN listens VVZ . SENT Virtue NP is VBZ its PP$ own JJ punishment NN . SENT If IN the DT shoe NN fits VVZ , , it's NNS ugly JJ . SENT Never RB lend VV your PP$ car NN to TO anyone NN to TO whom WP you PP have VHP given VVN birth NN . SENT Erma NP Bombeck NP . SENT A DT closed JJ mouth NN gathers VVZ no DT feet NNS . SENT Aphorisms NNS Clothes NNS make VVP the DT man NN . SENT Naked JJ people NNS have VHP little RB or CC no DT influence NN on IN society NN . SENT Mark NN Twain NN . SENT Money NN can't NN buy NN happiness NN . SENT . SENT . SENT But CC it PP sure RB makes VVZ misery NN easier RBR to TO live VV with IN . SENT . SENT . SENT The DT world NN is VBZ run VVN by IN C NP students NNS . SENT Maybe RB you PP can't VVD buy VV happiness NN , , but CC these DT days NNS you PP can MD certainly RB charge VV it PP . SENT Friends NNS help VVP you PP move VV . SENT Real JJ friends NNS help VVP you PP move VV bodies NNS . SENT On IN the DT other JJ hand NN , , you PP have VHP different JJ fingers NNS . SENT Steven NP Wright NP . SENT You PP know VVP that IN the DT outhouse NN is VBZ in IN the DT right JJ place NN if IN it PP seems VVZ too RB close VV in IN summer NN and CC too RB far RB in IN winter NN . SENT When WRB dealing VVG with IN patients NNS , , supervisors NNS , , or CC citizens NNS , , if IN it PP felt VVD good JJ saying VVG it PP , , it PP was VBD the DT wrong JJ thing NN to TO say VV . SENT A DT human JJ being NN should MD be VB able JJ to TO change VV a DT diaper NN , , plan VVP an DT invasion NN , , butcher NN a DT hog NN , , conn VV a DT ship NN , , design VV a DT building NN , , write VV a DT sonnet NN , , balance NN accounts NNS , , build VV a DT wall NN , , set VVD a DT bone NN , , comfort NN the DT dying VVG , , take VV orders NNS , , give VV orders NNS , , cooperate VV , , act VV alone RB , , solve VV equations NNS , , analyze VV a DT new JJ problem NN , , pitch NN manure NN , , program NN a DT computer NN , , cook VV a DT tasty JJ meal NN , , fight VV efficiently RB , , die VV gallantly RB . SENT Specialization NN is VBZ for IN insects NNS . SENT Robert NP A NP . SENT Heinlein NP . SENT The DT only JJ substitute NN for IN good JJ manners NNS is VBZ fast JJ reflexes NNS . SENT Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT When WRB everything's NNS coming VVG your PP$ way NN , , you're NN in IN the DT wrong JJ lane NN . SENT Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT If IN you PP choke VV a DT smurf NP , , what WP color NN does VVZ it PP turn VV . SENT Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT Friends NNS . SENT People NNS who WP know VVP you PP well RB , , but CC like IN you PP anyway RB . SENT Everyone NN is VBZ a DT genius NN . SENT It PP is VBZ just RB that IN some DT people NNS are VBP too RB stupid JJ to TO realize VV it PP . SENT Lie VV . SENT A DT very RB poor JJ substitute NN for IN the DT truth NN , , but CC the DT only JJ one CD discovered VVD to TO date VV . SENT Wise JJ men NNS talk VVP because IN they PP have VHP something NN to TO say VV . SENT fools NNS talk VVP because IN they PP have VHP to TO say VV something NN . SENT Plato NP . SENT Freedom NP is VBZ just RB chaos NN , , with IN better JJR lighting NN . SENT You PP have VHP a DT right NN to TO your PP$ opinions NNS . SENT I PP just RB don't JJ want VVP to TO hear VV them PP . SENT Fill VV what's NNS empty JJ . SENT empty JJ what's NNS full JJ . SENT scratch VV where WRB it PP itches VVZ . SENT The DT prairies NNS are VBP vast JJ plains NNS covered VVN by IN treeless JJ forests NNS . SENT Apart RB from IN the DT unknowns NNS , , everything NN is VBZ obvious JJ . SENT Omniscience NN . SENT Talking VVG only RB about IN things NNS you PP know VVP about RB . SENT If IN it's NNS true JJ that IN . SENT Early RB to TO bed NN and CC early JJ to TO rise VV makes VVZ you PP healthy JJ , , wealthy JJ , , and CC wise JJ , , why WRB are VBP chickens NNS so IN poor JJ and CC stupid JJ . SENT Tim NP Chambers NPS . SENT When WRB you PP are VBP in IN it PP up RB to TO your PP$ ears NNS , , keep VV your PP$ mouth NN shut VVD . SENT If IN you PP wish VVP to TO live VV wisely RB , , ignore VV sayings NNS including VVG this DT one NN . SENT You PP have VHP a DT right NN to TO your PP$ opinions NNS . SENT I PP just RB don't JJ want VVP to TO hear VV them PP . SENT Why WRB doesn't JJ anyone NN bottle NN water NN in IN Summer NP , , Fall NN , , or CC Winter NP . SENT Tim NP Chambers NPS . SENT Why WRB did VVD Shakespeare NN use NN so IN many JJ famous JJ quotations NNS in IN his PP$ work NN . SENT If IN you PP learn VVP from IN your PP$ mistakes NNS , , then RB why WRB ain't JJ I PP a DT genius NN . SENT . SENT Let VV others NNS praise VV ancient JJ times NNS . SENT I PP am VBP glad JJ I PP was VBD born VVN in IN these DT . SENT Ovid NP 43 CD BC NP 18 CD AD NN . SENT There EX are VBP only RB two CD ways NNS of IN telling VVG the DT complete JJ truth NN . SENT Anonymously RB and CC posthumously RB . SENT Thomas NP Sowell NP . SENT If IN the DT shortest JJS distance NN between IN two CD points NNS is VBZ a DT line NN , , why WRB does VVZ waiting VVG in IN a DT line NN take VV so RB long RB . SENT Qui NP pisse NP loin NN m NN nage NN ses NNS chaussures NNS Work NP A NP . SENT k NN . SENT a DT . SENT Dilbert's NP Laws NP of IN work NN All DT paid VVN employments NNS absorb VV and CC degrade VV the DT mind NN . SENT Aristotle NP . SENT You're NP young JJ and CC you PP got VVD your PP$ health NN , , what WP do VVP you PP want VVP with IN a DT job NN . SENT From IN the DT movie NN Raising VVG Arizona NP . SENT Their PP$ theory NN . SENT No DT work NN , , no DT pay NN . SENT My PP$ rule NN . SENT No DT pay NN , , no DT work NN . SENT Always RB give VV 100 CD at IN work NN . SENT 12 CD Monday NP , , 23 CD Tuesday NP , , 40 CD Wednesday NP , , 20 CD Thursday NP , , 5 CD Friday NP . SENT . SENT . SENT If IN you PP had VHD to TO identify VV , , in IN one CD word NN , , the DT reason NN why WRB the DT human JJ race NN has VHZ not RB achieved VVN , , and CC never RB will MD achieve VV , , its PP$ full JJ potential NN , , that DT word NN would MD be VB meetings NNS . SENT Dave NP Barry NP . SENT Work NN expands VVZ so RB as RB to TO fill VV the DT time NN available JJ for IN its PP$ completion NN . SENT Cyril NP Nortcote NP Parkinson NPS . SENT Never RB take VV a DT beer NN to TO a DT job NN interview NN . SENT Don't JJS be VB irreplaceable JJ . SENT If IN you PP can't NN be VB replaced VVN , , you PP can't NN be VB promoted VVN . SENT If IN people NNS really RB liked VVD to TO work VV , , we'd VV still RB be VB plowing VVG the DT land NN with IN sticks NNS and CC transporting VVG goods NNS on IN our PP$ backs NNS . SENT William NP Feather NP . SENT If IN people NNS concentrated VVN on IN the DT really RB important JJ things NNS in IN life NN , , there'd JJS be VB a DT shortage NN of IN fishing NN poles NNS . SENT Doug NP Larson NP . SENT During IN job NN interviews NNS , , when WRB they PP ask VVP . SENT What WP is VBZ your PP$ worst JJS quality NN . SENT , , I PP always RB say VVP . SENT Flatulence NN . SENT That DT way NN I PP get VVP my PP$ own JJ office NN . SENT Dan NP Thompson NP I PP . SENT R SYM . SENT S NP . SENT . SENT We've NN got VVD what WP it PP takes VVZ to TO take VV what WP you've NN got VVD . SENT If IN I PP could MD lie VV , , I PP would MD be VB in IN marketing NN . SENT Dilbert NP . SENT There EX are VBP two CD kinds NNS of IN people NNS , , those DT who WP do VVP the DT work NN and CC those DT who WP take VVP the DT credit NN . SENT Try VV to TO be VB in IN the DT first JJ group NN . SENT there EX is VBZ less JJR competition NN there RB . SENT Indira NP Gandhi NP . SENT The DT CEO's NP job NN in IN a DT huge JJ company NN is VBZ essentially RB the DT same JJ as IN the DT Magic NP 8 CD Ball NP . SENT saying VVG yes UH , , no UH , , or CC maybe RB , , without IN the DT benefit NN of IN understanding VVG the DT questions NNS . SENT Scott NP Adams NP of IN dilbert NP fame NN . SENT The DT secret NN of IN success NN is VBZ sincerity NN . SENT Once RB you PP can MD fake VV that DT you've NN got VVD it PP made VVD . SENT Jean NP Giraudoux NP . SENT Practice NN makes VVZ perfect JJ , , but CC no DT one's NNS perfect JJ so RB why WRB practice NN . SENT Billie NP Joe NP Armstrong NP . SENT Every DT day NN I PP get VVP up RP and CC look VV through IN the DT Forbes NP list NN of IN the DT richest JJS people NNS in IN America NP . SENT If IN I'm NP not RB there RB , , I PP go VVP to TO work VV . SENT Robert NP Orben NP It's NP not RB whether IN you PP win VVP or CC lose VVP . SENT it's NNS how WRB you PP place VVP the DT blame NN . SENT In IN business NN , , you PP can MD be VB on IN the DT right JJ track NN , , but CC if IN you PP don't VVD move VV fast RB enough RB you'll RB still RB be VB run VVN over RP . SENT Most RBS born VVN executives NNS are VBP people NNS with IN a DT parent NN who WP started VVD the DT business NN . SENT The DT biggest JJS guns NNS in IN most JJS corporations NNS are VBP those DT who WP have VHP never RB been VBN fired VVN . SENT A DT business NN executive NN is VBZ someone NN who WP talks VVZ golf NN in IN the DT office NN and CC business NN on IN the DT golf NN course NN . SENT Aiming VVG for IN the DT least JJS common JJ denominator NN sometimes RB causes VVZ division NN by IN zero CD . SENT The DT first JJ myth NN of IN management NN is VBZ that IN it PP exists VVZ . SENT Talent NN does VVZ what WP it PP can MD . SENT genius NN does VVZ what WP it PP must MD . SENT I PP do VVP what WP I PP am VBP paid VVN to TO do VV . SENT You PP know VVP you PP are VBP over IN the DT hill NN when WRB work NN is VBZ less JJR fun NN and CC fun NN is VBZ more JJR work NN . SENT Don't NN undertake VV vast JJ projects NNS with IN half DT vast JJ ideas NNS . SENT Teamwork NN is VBZ essential JJ . SENT it PP allows VVZ you PP to TO blame VV someone NN else RB . SENT A DT lack NN of IN leadership NN is VBZ no DT substitute NN for IN inaction NN . SENT Join VV in IN the DT new JJ game NN that's NNS sweeping VVG the DT country NN . SENT It's NP called VVD Bureaucracy NN . SENT Everybody NN stands VVZ in IN a DT circle NN . SENT The DT first JJ person NN to TO do VV anything NN loses NNS . SENT My PP$ contribution NN to TO productivity NN at IN my PP$ job NN is VBZ to TO refrain VV from IN giving VVG my PP$ co NP workers NNS the DT severe JJ beatings NNS they PP so RB richly RB deserve VV . SENT Gene NP B NP . SENT So RB I PP had VHD this DT dream NN yesterday NN that IN I PP was VBD at IN work NN . SENT . SENT . SENT no UH , , wait VV . SENT . SENT . SENT I PP was VBD dreaming VVG yesterday NN while IN I PP was VBD at IN work NN . SENT Yeah UH , , that's NNS it PP . SENT Anyway RB , , long JJ story NN short RB . SENT Anybody NN know VVP of IN a DT job NN opening NN for IN a DT security NN guard NN . SENT Steiner NP Sellers NP . SENT Word NN to TO the DT wise JJ . SENT When WRB composing VVG an DT e NN mail NN message NN to TO your PP$ boss NN from IN home NN late RB at IN night NN , , be VB sure JJ to TO take VV inventory NN of IN the DT empty JJ beer NN cans NNS around IN you PP before IN you PP press VVP send VV . SENT Jumpin NP Jack NP Reynolds NP . SENT Grant VV me PP the DT serenity NN to TO accept VV the DT things NNS I NN cannot NN change NN , , the DT courage NN to TO change VV the DT things NNS I NN cannot NN accept VV , , and CC the DT wisdom NN to TO hide VV the DT bodies NNS of IN those DT people NNS I PP had VHD to TO kill VV today NN because IN they PP pissed VVD me PP off RP and CC also RB , , help VV me PP to TO be VB careful JJ of IN the DT toes NNS I PP step VVP on IN today NN , , as IN they PP may MD be VB connected VVN to TO the DT ass NN that IN I PP may MD have VH to TO kiss VV tomorrow NN . SENT Amen NP . SENT Office NN prayer NN . SENT I PP think VVP you PP should MD profit VV from IN the DT mistakes NNS of IN others NNS . SENT You PP don't VVD live VV long RB enough JJ to TO make VV them PP all DT yourself PP . SENT No DT amount NN of IN advance NN planning NN will MD ever RB replace VV dumb JJ luck NN . SENT Warning NN . SENT Dates NNS in IN Calendar NN are VBP closer RBR than IN they PP appear VVP . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT The DT only JJ person NN getting VVG his PP$ work NN done VVN by IN Friday NP was VBD Robinson NP Crusoe NP . SENT We PP have VHP all RB been VBN to TO those DT meetings NNS where WRB someone NN wants VVZ more JJR than IN 100 CD . SENT Well RB here's NNS how WRB you PP do VVP that IN . SENT Here's NNS how WRB you PP can MD achieve VV 103 CD . SENT First JJ of IN all DT , , here's JJ a DT little JJ math NN that WDT might MD prove VV helpful JJ in IN the DT future NN . SENT How WRB does VVZ one PP achieve VV 100 CD in IN LIFE NN . SENT Begin VV by IN noting VVG the DT following NN . SENT if IN A DT 1 CD , , B NP 2 CD . SENT . SENT . SENT Z NP 26 CD . SENT Then RB . SENT H NP A NP R NP D NP W NP O NP R NP K NP 8 CD 1 CD 18 JJ 4 CD 23 CD 15 JJ 18 CD 11 CD Only RB 98 CD Similarly RB , , K NP N NP O NP W NP L NP E NP D NP G NP E NP 11 CD 14 CD 15 JJ 23 CD 12 CD 5 CD 4 CD 7 CD 5 CD Only RB 96 CD But CC interesting JJ and CC as IN you'd NN expect VVP , , A DT T NN T NN I NN T NN U NP D NP E NP 1 CD 20 CD 20 JJ 9 CD 20 CD 21 JJ 4 CD 5 CD 100 CD . SENT . SENT . SENT . SENT . SENT This DT is VBZ how WRB you PP achieve VVP 100 CD in IN LIFE NN . SENT But CC EVEN RB MORE RB IMPORTANT JJ TO TO NOTE VV or CC REALIZE VV , , isB NP U NP L NP L NP S NP H NP I NP T NN 2 CD 21 CD 12 JJ 12 CD 19 CD 8 CD 9 CD 20 CD 103 CD So IN now RB you PP know VVP what WP all PDT those DT high JJ priced VVN consultants NNS , , upper JJ management NN , , and CC motivational JJ speakers NNS really RB mean VVP when WRB they PP want VVP to TO exceed VV 100 CD . SENT If IN it PP wasn't VVD for IN the DT last JJ minute NN , , would MD anything NN ever RB get VV done VVN . SENT I PP love VVP deadlines NNS . SENT I PP like VVP the DT whooshing VVG sound NN they PP make VVP as IN they PP fly VVP by IN . SENT Douglas NP Adams NP 1952 CD 2001 CD . SENT Criminal NP Lawyer NP is VBZ a DT redundancy NN . SENT Our PP$ unemployment NN rate NN would MD be VB 1 CD . SENT 5 CD percentage NN points NNS lower JJR if IN we PP had VHD as IN many JJ people NNS sitting VVG in IN jail NN as IN the DT United NP States NPS has VHZ , , Werner NP Mueller NP , , economics NN minister NN of IN Germany NP , , 2002 CD . SENT Hard JJ work NN has VHZ a DT future JJ payoff NN . SENT Laziness NN pays VVZ off RP NOW RB . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT Nothing NN is VBZ impossible JJ for IN the DT man NN who WP doesn't VVD have VH to TO do VV it PP himself PP . SENT A DT . SENT H NP . SENT Weiler NP . SENT I PP like VVP work NN . SENT it PP fascinates VVZ me PP . SENT I PP can MD sit VV and CC look VV at IN it PP for IN hours NNS . SENT Jerome NP K NP . SENT Jerome NP . SENT If IN at IN first RB you PP don't VVD succeed VV , , skydiving NN is VBZ not RB for IN you PP . SENT If IN at IN first RB you PP don't VVD succeed VV , , destroy VV all DT evidence NN you PP tried VVD . SENT If IN at IN first RB you PP don't VVD succeed VV , , try VV again RB . SENT Then RB quit VVN . SENT No DT use NN being VBG a DT damn JJ fool NN about IN it PP . SENT If IN at IN first RB you PP DO VVP succeed VV , , pretend VV you PP knew VVD what WP you PP were VBD doing VVG . SENT If IN at IN first RB you PP don't VVD succeed VV , , see VV if IN the DT loser NN gets VVZ anything NN . SENT If IN at IN first RB you PP don't VVD succeed VV , , your PP$ successor NN will MD . SENT The DT trouble NN with IN doing VVG something NN right RB the DT first JJ time NN is VBZ that DT nobody NN appreciates VVZ how WRB difficult JJ it PP was VBD . SENT If IN something's NNS hard JJ to TO do VV then RB it's NNS not RB worth IN doing VVG . SENT Homer NP Simpson NP . SENT If IN something NN goes VVZ wrong JJ . SENT . SENT . SENT blame VV the DT guy NN who WP can't VVD speak VV English NP . SENT Homer NP Simpson NP . SENT Kids NNS , , you PP tried VVD your PP$ best JJS , , and CC you PP failed VVD miserably RB . SENT The DT lesson NN is VBZ , , never RB try VV . SENT Homer NP Simpson NP . SENT I PP came VVD . SENT I PP saw VVD . SENT I PP fucked VVD up RP . SENT There's NP nothing NN wrong JJ with IN hitting VVG someone NN when WRB his PP$ back NN is VBZ turned VVN . SENT Homer NP Simpson NP . SENT The DT three CD little JJ sentences NNS that WDT will MD get VV you PP through IN life NN . SENT 1 CD Cover NP for IN me PP . SENT 2 LS Oh UH , , good JJ idea NN , , Boss NP . SENT 3 LS It PP was VBD like JJ that IN when WRB I PP got VVD here RB . SENT Homer NP Simpson NP . SENT I PP used VVD to TO laugh VV at IN my PP$ dog NN . SENT like IN marking VVG his PP$ territory NN was VBD really RB gonna VVG keep VV those DT other JJ dogs NNS away RB . SENT But CC since IN I PP started VVD doing VVG it PP myself PP , , I PP have VHP to TO admit VV that IN my PP$ co NP workers NNS seldom RB come VVP into IN my PP$ cubicle NN any DT more RBR . SENT J NP . SENT Murphy NP . SENT I PP don't VVD suffer VV from IN stress NN . SENT . SENT . SENT . SENT . SENT . SENT I'm NP a DT carrier NN . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT Eagles NNS may MD soar VV , , but CC weasels NNS don't NN get VVP sucked VVN into IN jet NN engines NNS Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT Early JJ bird NN gets VVZ the DT worm NN , , but CC the DT second JJ mouse NN gets VVZ the DT cheese NN Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT Ambition NN is VBZ a DT poor JJ excuse NN for IN not RB having VHG enough JJ sense NN to TO be VB lazy JJ . SENT Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT If IN I PP worked VVD as RB much RB as IN others NNS , , I PP would MD do VV as RB little JJ as IN they PP . SENT Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT If IN everything NN seems VVZ to TO be VB going VVG well RB , , you PP have VHP obviously RB overlooked VVN something NN . SENT Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT Many JJ people NNS quit VVD looking VVG for IN work NN when WRB they PP find VVP a DT job NN . SENT Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT Make VV it PP idiot NN proof NN and CC someone NN will MD make VV a DT better JJR idiot NN . SENT Bill NP Arnett NP . SENT Corollary NN . SENT Nothing NN is VBZ fool NN proof NN to TO a DT sufficiently RB talented JJ fool NN . SENT If IN it PP moves VVZ so RB slowly RB , , why WRB is VBZ it PP called VVD RUSH NN hour NN . SENT Hard JJ work NN never RB killed VVN anybody NN , , but CC why WRB take VV a DT chance NN . SENT Charlie NP McCarthy NP . SENT A DT lot NN of IN fellows NNS nowadays RB have VHP a DT B NN . SENT A DT . SENT , , M NP . SENT D SYM . SENT , , or CC Ph NN . SENT D SYM . SENT . SENT Unfortunately RB , , they PP don't VVD have VH a DT J NP . SENT O NN . SENT B LS . SENT Fats NNS Domino NP . SENT Happy NP is VBZ the DT man NN with IN a DT wife NN to TO tell VV him PP what WP to TO do VV and CC a DT secretary NN to TO do VV it PP . SENT Lord NP Mancroft NP 1917 CD 87 CD , , British JJ businessman NN and CC writer NN . SENT If IN you PP are VBP given VVN an DT open JJ book NN exam NN , , you PP will MD forget VV your PP$ book NN . SENT Corollary NN . SENT If IN you PP are VBP given VVN a DT take VV home NN test NN , , you PP will MD forget VV where WRB you PP live VVP . SENT I PP have VHP just RB run VVN into IN your PP$ car NN in IN the DT parking NN lot NN . SENT Several JJ people NNS are VBP watching VVG me PP and CC they PP think VVP I PP am VBP writing VVG down RP my PP$ name NN and CC number NN . SENT . SENT . SENT One CD of IN the DT symptoms NNS of IN approaching VVG nervous JJ breakdown NN is VBZ the DT belief NN that IN one's JJ work NN is VBZ terribly RB important JJ . SENT If IN I PP were VBD a DT medical JJ man NN , , I PP should MD prescribe VV a DT holiday NN to TO any DT patient NN who WP considered VVD his PP$ work NN important JJ . SENT Bertrand NP Russell NP 1872 CD 1970 CD British JJ philosopher NN , , Autobiography NN . SENT The DT man NN who WP is VBZ waiting VVG for IN something NN to TO turn VV up RB might MD start VV on IN his PP$ shirt NN sleeves NNS . SENT Garth NP Henrichs NP . SENT Two CD Rules NPS For IN Success NP . SENT 1 CD Never RB tell VV people NNS everything NN you PP know VVP . SENT I've NP found VVD a DT sure JJ way NN to TO relieve VV office NN stress NN . SENT take VV a DT deep JJ breath NN count NN to TO 10 CD set NN the DT boss NN wastebasket NN on IN fire NN . SENT Retirement NN . SENT When WRB you PP quit VVD working VVG just RB before IN your PP$ heart NN does VVZ . SENT The DT first JJ thing NN we PP do VVP , , let's NNS kill VVP all PDT the DT lawyers NNS . SENT William NP Shakespeare NP , , Henry NP VI NP , , Part NP 2 CD , , act NN ii NNS . SENT If IN you PP can't VVD get VV your PP$ work NN done VVN in IN the DT first JJ 24 CD hours NNS , , work NN nights NNS . SENT A DT pat NN on IN the DT back NN is VBZ only RB a DT few JJ centimeters NNS from IN a DT kick NN in IN the DT butt NN . SENT It PP doesn't VVD matter VV what WP you PP do VVP , , it PP only RB matters VVZ what WP you PP say VVP you've NN done VVN and CC what WP you're NNS going VVG to TO do VV . SENT After IN any DT salary NN raise NN , , you PP will MD have VH less JJR money NN at IN the DT end NN of IN the DT month NN than IN you PP did VVD before RB . SENT The DT more JJR crap NN you PP put VVD up RP with IN , , the DT more JJR crap NN you PP are VBP going VVG to TO get VV . SENT You PP can MD go VV anywhere RB you PP want VVP if IN you PP look VVP serious JJ and CC carry VV a DT clipboard NN . SENT Eat VV one PP live VV toad NN the DT first JJ thing NN in IN the DT morning NN and CC nothing NN worse JJR will MD happen VV to TO you PP the DT rest NN of IN the DT day NN . SENT Do VVP not RB underestimate VV your PP$ abilities NNS . SENT That DT is VBZ your PP$ boss's NNS job NN . SENT When WRB the DT bosses NNS are VBP talking VVG about IN improving VVG productivity NN , , they PP are VBP never RB talking VVG about IN themselves PP . SENT There EX will MD always RB be VB beer NN cans NNS rolling VVG on IN the DT floor NN of IN your PP$ car NN when WRB the DT boss NN asks VVZ for IN a DT ride NN home NN from IN the DT office NN . SENT Keep VV your PP$ boss's JJ boss NN off IN your PP$ boss's NNS back RB . SENT Everything NN can MD be VB filed VVN under IN miscellaneous JJ . SENT Never RB delay VV the DT ending NN of IN a DT meeting NN or CC the DT beginning NN of IN a DT cocktail NN hour NN . SENT To TO err VV is VBZ human JJ , , to TO forgive VV is VBZ not RB our PP$ policy NN . SENT Anyone NN can MD do VV any DT amount NN of IN work NN provided VVD it PP isn't VVD the DT work VV he PP she PP is VBZ supposed VVN to TO be VB doing VVG . SENT Important JJ letters NNS that WDT contain VVP no DT errors NNS will MD develop VV errors NNS in IN the DT mail NN . SENT If IN you PP are VBP good JJ , , you PP will MD be VB assigned VVN all PDT the DT work NN . SENT If IN you PP are VBP really RB good JJ , , you PP will MD get VV out RP of IN it PP . SENT You PP are VBP always RB doing VVG something NN marginal JJ when WRB the DT boss NN drops VVZ by IN your PP$ desk NN . SENT People NNS who WP go VVP to TO conferences NNS are VBP the DT ones NNS who WP shouldn't VVD . SENT If IN it PP wasn't VVD for IN the DT last JJ minute NN , , nothing NN would MD ever RB get VV done VVN . SENT At IN work NN , , the DT authority NN of IN a DT person NN is VBZ inversely RB proportional JJ to TO the DT number NN of IN pens NNS that IN person NN is VBZ carrying VVG . SENT When WRB you PP don't VVD know VV what WP to TO do VV , , walk VV fast RB and CC look VV worried VVN . SENT Following VVG the DT rules NNS will MD not RB get VV the DT job NN done VVN . SENT Getting VVG the DT job NN done VVN is VBZ no DT excuse NN for IN not RB following VVG the DT rules NNS . SENT When WRB confronted VVN by IN a DT difficult JJ problem NN you PP can MD solve VV it PP by IN reducing VVG it PP to TO the DT question NN , , How WRB would MD the DT Lone NP Ranger NP handle VV this DT . SENT No DT matter NN how WRB much JJ you PP do VVP , , you PP never RB do VVP enough RB . SENT The DT last JJ person NN that WDT quit VVD or CC was VBD fired VVN will MD be VB held VVN responsible JJ for IN everything NN that WDT goes VVZ wrong JJ . SENT Exercise NN at IN work NN . SENT beat VV around IN the DT bush NN . SENT run VVN around RP in IN circles NNS . SENT jump VV to TO conclusions NNS . SENT run VVN away RB from IN your PP$ problems NNS . SENT fly VV off RP the DT handle VV . SENT climb VV the DT corporate JJ ladder NN . SENT push VV a DT pencil NN . SENT strike VV any DT key NN . SENT etc FW . SENT . SENT . SENT Anything NN is VBZ possible JJ if IN you PP don't VVD know VV what WP you're NN talking VVG about RB . SENT Green's NP law NN of IN debate NN For IN every DT action NN , , there EX is VBZ an DT equal JJ and CC opposite JJ criticism NN . SENT In IN any DT organization NN , , there EX will MD always RB be VB one CD person NN who WP knows VVZ what WP is VBZ going VVG on RP . SENT This DT person NN should MD be VB fired VVN . SENT When WRB the DT going VVG gets VVZ tough JJ , , everyone NN leaves NNS . SENT USEFUL JJ WORK NN PHRASES NNS . SENT Thank VV you PP . SENT We're NP all RB refreshed VVD and CC challenged VVD by IN your PP$ unique JJ point NN of IN view NN . SENT The DT fact NN that IN no DT one NN understands VVZ you PP doesn't JJ mean JJ you're NN an DT artist NN . SENT I PP don't VVD know VV what WP your PP$ problem NN is VBZ , , but CC I'll NP bet NN it's NNS hard JJ to TO pronounce VV . SENT Any DT connection NN between IN your PP$ reality NN and CC mine NN is VBZ purely RB coincidental JJ . SENT I PP have VHP plenty RB of IN talent NN and CC vision NN . SENT I PP just RB don't JJ care NN . SENT I PP like VVP you PP . SENT You PP remind VVP me PP of IN when WRB I PP was VBD young JJ and CC stupid JJ . SENT What WP am VBP I PP . SENT Flypaper NN for IN freaks VVZ . SENT . SENT I'm NN not RB being VBG rude JJ . SENT You're NP just RB insignificant JJ . SENT I'm NP already RB visualizing VVG the DT duct NN tape NN over IN your PP$ mouth NN . SENT I PP will MD always RB cherish VV the DT initial JJ misconceptions NNS I PP had VHD about IN you PP . SENT It's NP a DT thankless JJ job NN , , but CC I've NP got VVD a DT lot NN of IN Karma NP to TO burn VV off RP . SENT Yes UH , , I PP am VBP an DT agent NN of IN Satan NN , , but CC my PP$ duties NNS are VBP largely RB ceremonial JJ . SENT No UH , , my PP$ powers NNS can MD only RB be VB used VVN for IN good JJ . SENT How WRB about RB never RB . SENT Is VBZ never RB good JJ for IN you PP . SENT I'm NP really RB easy JJ to TO get VV along RP with IN once IN you PP people NNS learn VVP to TO worship VV me PP . SENT You PP sound VVP reasonable JJ . SENT . SENT . SENT Time NN to TO up RB my PP$ medication NN . SENT I'll JJ try NN being VBG nicer JJR if IN you'll NN try VVP being NN smarter RBR . SENT I'm NP out RB of IN my PP$ mind NN , , but CC feel VVP free JJ to TO leave VV a DT message NN . SENT . SENT . SENT I PP don't VVD work VV here RB . SENT I'm NP a DT consultant NN . SENT Who WP me PP . SENT I PP just RB wander VVP from IN room NN to TO room NN . SENT My PP$ toys NNS . SENT My PP$ toys NNS . SENT I PP can't VVD do VV this DT job NN without IN my PP$ toys NNS . SENT It PP might MD look VV like IN I'm NP doing VVG nothing NN , , but CC at IN the DT cellular JJ level NN I'm NN really RB quite RB busy JJ . SENT At IN least JJS I PP have VHP a DT positive JJ attitude NN about IN my PP$ destructive JJ habits NNS . SENT You PP are VBP validating VVG my PP$ inherent JJ mistrust NN of IN strangers NNS . SENT I PP see VVP you've NN set VVN aside RP this DT special JJ time NN to TO humiliate VV yourself PP in IN public NN . SENT Someday RB , , we'll JJ look VVP back RB on IN this DT , , laugh VV nervously RB and CC change VV the DT subject NN . SENT Mind VV A DT great JJ many JJ people NNS think VVP they PP are VBP thinking VVG when WRB they PP are VBP merely RB rearranging VVG their PP$ prejudices NNS . SENT William NP James NP 1842 CD 1910 CD Some DT people NNS are VBP wise JJ , , and CC some DT are VBP otherwise RB . SENT Why WRB are VBP wise JJ men NNS , , and CC wise JJ guys NNS the DT exact JJ opposite NN . SENT People NNS who WP are VBP smart JJ get VVP into IN MENSA NP . SENT People NNS who WP are VBP really RB smart JJ look NN around IN and CC leave VV . SENT James NP Randi NP . SENT I PP am VBP amazed JJ , , o NN wall NN , , that WDT you PP have VHP not RB collapsed VVN and CC fallen VVN , , since IN you PP must MD bear VV the DT tedious JJ stupidities NNS of IN so RB many JJ scrawlers NNS . SENT Graffiti NNS on IN a DT wall NN of IN Pompeii NP . SENT Many JJ people NNS would MD sooner RB die VV than IN think VV . SENT In IN fact NN they PP do VVP . SENT Bertrand NP Russell NP 1872 CD 1970 CD , , British JJ philosopher NN . SENT People NNS don't NN seem VVP to TO realize VV that IN it PP takes VVZ time NN and CC effort NN and CC preparation NN to TO think VV . SENT Statesmen NNS are VBP far RB too RB busy JJ making VVG speeches NNS to TO think VV . SENT Bertrand NP Russell NP 1872 CD 1970 CD , , British JJ philosopher NN . SENT A DT mind NN is VBZ a DT terrible JJ thing NN to TO waste VV . SENT . SENT . SENT That's NNS why WRB I PP save VVP it PP for IN special JJ occasions NNS . SENT Around IN here RB , , we PP put VVD the DT FUN NN in IN dysFUNctional JJ . SENT You're NP so RB open RB minded VVD , , your PP$ brains NNS fell VVD out RP . SENT My PP$ mind NN not RB only RB wanders VVZ , , sometimes RB it PP leaves VVZ completely RB . SENT I PP have VHP an DT open JJ mind NN it's NNS just RB closed VVD for IN repairs NNS . SENT I PP took VVD an DT IQ NP test NN and CC the DT results NNS were VBD negative JJ . SENT It PP is VBZ a DT far RB , , far RB better JJR thing NN to TO have VH a DT firm NN anchor NN in IN nonsense NN than IN to TO put VV out RP on IN the DT troubled JJ seas NNS of IN thought NN . SENT John NP K NP . SENT Galbraith NP . SENT Reality NN is VBZ a DT crutch NN for IN people NNS who WP can't VVD handle VV drugs NNS . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT The DT only JJ thing NN standing VVG between IN me PP and CC total JJ happiness NN is VBZ reality NN . SENT Douglas NP Porter NP . SENT I PP used VVD to TO think VV that IN the DT brain NN was VBD the DT most RBS wonderful JJ organ NN in IN my PP$ body NN . SENT Then RB I PP realized VVD who WP was VBD telling VVG me PP this DT . SENT Emo NP Phillips NP . SENT Trust VV your PP$ first JJ impressions NNS . SENT It PP seems VVZ that DT thinking NN only RB confuses VVZ you PP . SENT If IN you PP can't VVD impress VV them PP with IN intelligence NN , , baffle VV em NN with IN bullshit NN . SENT Reality NN . SENT Is VBZ that IN where WRB the DT pizza NN delivery NN guy NN comes VVZ from IN . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT Reality NN is VBZ whatever WDT refuses VVZ to TO go VV away RB after IN I PP stop VVP believing VVG in IN it PP . SENT Philip NP K NP . SENT Dick NP . SENT There EX is VBZ only RB one CD thing NN that WDT can MD keep VV growing VVG without IN nourishment NN . SENT The DT human JJ ego NN . SENT Marshall NP Lumsden NP . SENT Q NP . SENT What WP is VBZ the DT difference NN between IN ignorance NN and CC apathy NN . SENT A DT . SENT I PP don't VVD know VV and CC I PP don't VVD care NN . SENT Norman NP H NP . SENT Cohen NP . SENT Arguing VVG with IN a DT man NN who WP will MD not RB produce VV evidence NN in IN support NN of IN his PP$ position NN is VBZ like IN arguing VVG with IN a DT vegetable NN . SENT Aristotle NP . SENT Never RB argue VVP with IN idiots NNS . SENT The DT just RB drag VV you PP down RP to TO their PP$ level NN and CC then RB beat VV you PP with IN their PP$ experience NN . SENT Mind NN Like IN A DT Steel NP Trap NN Rusty NP And CC Illegal JJ In IN 37 CD States NPS Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT When WRB I'm NP not RB in IN my PP$ right JJ mind NN , , my PP$ left JJ mind NN gets VVZ pretty RB crowded JJ . SENT Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT Everyone NN has VHZ a DT photographic JJ memory NN . SENT Some DT don't NN have VHP film NN . SENT Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT I PP used VVD to TO have VH an DT open JJ mind NN but CC my PP$ brains NNS kept VVD falling VVG out RP . SENT Stephen NP Wright NP . SENT In IN a DT fight NN between IN you PP and CC the DT world NN , , back RB the DT world NN . SENT Franz NP Kafka NP 1883 CD 1924 CD I PP think VVP if IN I PP could MD turn VV my PP$ mind NN into IN some DT kind NN of IN amusement NN park NN ride NN , , it PP would MD be VB really RB successful JJ . SENT It PP scares VVZ ME PP half PDT the DT time NN and CC I PP know VVP what's NNS in IN it PP . SENT R SYM . SENT M NP . SENT Weiner NP I'm NP not RB a DT complete JJ idiot NN , , some DT parts NNS are VBP missing VVG . SENT He PP who WP laughs VVZ last JJ thinks VVZ slowest JJS . SENT Been VBN there RB , , done VVN that IN and CC have VH the DT tee NN shirt NN to TO prove VV it PP . SENT If IN ignorance NN is VBZ bliss NN , , you PP must MD be VB orgasmic JJ . SENT Okay NP , , who WP put VVD a DT stop NN payment NN on IN my PP$ reality NN check NN . SENT I'm NP as RB confused VVD as IN a DT baby NN in IN a DT topless JJ bar NN . SENT Consciousness NN . SENT that IN annoying VVG time NN between IN naps NNS . SENT If IN you PP have VHP half PDT a DT mind NN to TO watch VV TV NN , , that WDT is VBZ enough JJ . SENT I PP used VVD to TO have VH a DT handle VV on IN life NN , , then RB it PP broke VVD . SENT I PP don't VVD suffer VV from IN insanity NN . SENT I PP enjoy VVP every DT minute NN of IN it PP . SENT It PP may MD be VB that IN your PP$ sole JJ purpose NN in IN life NN is VBZ simply RB to TO serve VV as IN a DT warning NN to TO others NNS . SENT Minds NNS are VBP like IN parachutes NNS they PP only RB work VVP well RB when WRB opened VVD . SENT For IN sincere JJ personal JJ advice NN and CC the DT correct JJ time NN . SENT phone NN any DT number NN at IN random JJ at IN 3 CD am RB . SENT If IN genius NN is VBZ one CD percent NN inspiration NN and CC 99 CD percent NN perspiration NN , , I PP wind VVP up RP sharing VVG elevators NNS with IN a DT lot NN of IN bright JJ people NNS . SENT Some DT people NNS are VBP going VVG to TO leave VV a DT mark NN on IN this DT world NN , , while IN others NNS will MD leave VV a DT stain VV . SENT When WRB your PP$ IQ NP rises NNS to TO 28 CD , , sell VV . SENT Professor NP Irwin NP Corey NP to TO a DT heckler NN . SENT You PP can MD have VH my PP$ gun NN when WRB you PP pry VV it PP from IN my PP$ paranoid JJ , , mentally RB disturbed VVN , , physically RB abused JJ , , cold JJ , , dead JJ hand NN . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT You PP can MD get VV much RB farther RBR with IN a DT kind NN word NN and CC a DT gun NN than IN you PP can MD with IN a DT kind NN word NN alone RB . SENT Al NP Capone NP . SENT Mediocrity NN knows VVZ nothing NN higher RBR than IN itself PP , , but CC talent NN instantly RB recognises VVZ genius NN . SENT Sir NP Arthur NP Conan NP Doyle NP 1859 CD 1930 CD Genius NN is VBZ one CD per IN cent NN inspiration NN and CC ninety CD nine CD per IN cent NN perspiration NN . SENT Thomas NP Edison NP 1847 CD 1931 CD The DT opinions NNS above RB are VBP not RB mine JJ . SENT I PP stole VVD them PP all RB from IN the DT person NN sitting VVG next JJ to TO me PP . SENT If IN you PP don't VVD like IN them PP , , I PP can MD get VV you PP his PP$ address NN and CC you PP can MD kill VV him PP . SENT The DT problem NN with IN America NP is VBZ stupidity NN . SENT Why WRB don't JJ we PP just RB take VVP the DT safety NN labels NNS off IN everything NN and CC let VV the DT problem NN solve VV itself PP . SENT Every DT once RB in IN awhile RB , , walk VVP into IN a DT bookstore NN and CC buy VV a DT magazine NN devoted VVN to TO a DT subject NN you PP know VVP nothing NN about RB . SENT Read VV it PP . SENT Huh NP . SENT Quote VV me PP as IN saying VVG I PP was VBD mis NNS quoted VVN . SENT Groucho NP Marx NP . SENT Operator NN . SENT Give VV me PP the DT number NN for IN 911 CD . SENT Homer NP Simpson NP . SENT The DT mime's NNS opinion NN was VBD a DT mute JJ point NN . SENT What WP is VBZ a DT free JJ gift NN . SENT Aren't NP all DT gifts NNS free JJ . SENT I PP know VVP you PP believe VVP that IN you PP understand VVP what WP you PP think VVP I PP said VVD , , but CC I PP am VBP not RB sure JJ you PP realize VVP that IN what WP you PP heard VVD is VBZ not RB what WP I PP really RB meant VVD to TO say VV . SENT Incontinence NN hot JJ line NN , , could MD you PP please VV hold NN . SENT . SENT . SENT The DT hailstones NNS leaped VVD from IN the DT pavement NN , , just RB like IN maggots NNS when WRB you PP fry VV them PP in IN hot JJ grease NN . SENT If IN you PP don't VVD like IN the DT news NN , , go VV out RP and CC make VV some DT . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT Don't NP you PP wish VVP there EX were VBD a DT knob NN on IN the DT TV NN to TO turn VV up RP the DT intelligence NN . SENT There's RB one CD marked JJ Brightness NN , , but CC it PP doesn't VVD work NN . SENT Gallagher NP . SENT Always RB remember VV you're NN unique JJ , , just RB like IN everyone NN else RB If IN olive JJ oil NN comes VVZ from IN olives NNS , , where WRB does VVZ baby NN oil NN come VVN from IN . SENT When WRB I PP consider VVP how WRB sweaters NNS tend VVP to TO make VV me PP sweat NN , , I'm NP a DT lot NN less RBR inclined JJ to TO wear VV my PP$ windbreaker NN . SENT Brad NP Hamer NP . SENT How WRB was VBD I PP supposed VVN to TO know VV gasoline NN didn't NN put VVD out RP fires NNS . SENT . SENT . SENT . SENT Foot NN n NN . SENT A DT device NN for IN finding VVG furniture NN in IN the DT dark NN . SENT Give VV a DT man NN a DT fire NN , , and CC he'll NN be VB warm JJ for IN a DT day NN . SENT Set VV a DT man NN on IN fire NN , , and CC he'll NN be VB warm JJ for IN the DT rest NN of IN his PP$ life NN . SENT John NP A NP . SENT Hrastar NP . SENT The DT international JJ telephone NN dialing VVG code NN for IN Antarctica NP is VBZ 672 JJ . SENT OK UH , , that's NNS lame JJ , , here's JJ another DT one NN . SENT 111 CD 111 CD 111 CD x SYM 111 CD 111 CD 111 JJ 12 CD 345 CD 678 JJ 987 CD 654 CD 321 CD My PP$ Child NN Is VBZ an DT Average JJ Student NN at IN a DT So RB So IN School NP You PP Never RB Heard VVN Of IN . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT My PP$ Other JJ Car NN Also RB Has VHZ This DT Bumper NN Sticker NP . SENT If IN you PP cannot NN read VV or CC understand VV the DT information NN on IN this DT safety NN card NN , , please VV ask VV the DT flight NN attendant NN for IN assistance NN . SENT Seen VVN on IN a DT card NN in IN an DT airline NN seat NN pocket NN . SENT Exit NN n NN . SENT Portion NN of IN a DT means NN of IN egress NN which WDT is VBZ separated VVN from IN all DT other JJ spaces NNS of IN the DT building NN or CC structure NN by IN construction NN or CC equipment NN as IN required VVN in IN this DT subpart NN to TO provide VV a DT protected VVN way NN to TO travel VV to TO the DT exit NN discharge NN . SENT Exit NN discharge NN n NN . SENT That DT portion NN of IN a DT means NN of IN egress NN between IN the DT termination NN of IN an DT exit NN and CC a DT public JJ way NN . SENT Occupational NP Health NP and CC Safety NP Standards NPS . SENT You PP yawn VV to TO equalize VV the DT pressure NN on IN your PP$ eardrums NNS . SENT This DT pressure NN change NN outside IN your PP$ eardrums NNS unbalances VVZ other JJ people's NP ear NN pressures NNS , , so RB they PP must MD yawn VV to TO even VV it PP out RP . SENT Why WRB Yawning VVG Is VBZ Contagious JJ . SENT I've NP practiced JJ meditation NN most JJS of IN my PP$ life NN . SENT It's NNS better RBR than IN lying VVG around IN doing VVG nothing NN . SENT Tom NP Sims NP . SENT Some DT people NNS are VBP only RB alive JJ because IN it PP is VBZ illegal JJ to TO kill VV . SENT Synonym NN nm NN . SENT . SENT a DT word NN you PP use VVP when WRB you PP can't VVD pronounce VV or CC spell VV the DT other JJ one CD . SENT Last JJ night NN I PP played VVD a DT blank JJ tape NN at IN full JJ blast NN . SENT The DT mime NN next JJ door NN went VVD nuts NNS . SENT Always RB remember VV to TO pillage VV BEFORE IN you PP burn VVP . SENT Attila NP the DT Hun NP . SENT History NN teaches VVZ us PP that IN we PP learn VVP nothing NN from IN history NN . SENT History NN will MD be VB kind JJ to TO me PP for IN I PP intend VVP to TO write VV it PP . SENT Winston NP Churchill NP . SENT I'm NP certain JJ that IN the DT fans NNS of IN Shakespeare NP will MD tell VV me PP I PP would MD enjoy VV his PP$ work NN if IN only RB I PP took VVD the DT time NN to TO understand VV it PP . SENT But CC that's NNS like IN saying VVG I PP would MD love VV polka NN music NN if IN I PP took VVD the DT time NN to TO translate VV it PP in IN my PP$ head NN into IN the DT sound NN of IN a DT band NN I PP like VVP . SENT Scott NP Adams NP of IN dilbert NP fame NN . SENT American JJ history NN starts VVZ only RB around IN 200 CD B NN . SENT C LS . SENT Before IN Calvin NP . SENT At IN the DT grocery NN store NN , , they PP have VHP a DT new JJ credit NN card NN bank NN card NN readers NNS at IN the DT checkout NN stands VVZ . SENT If IN you PP don't VVD know VV how WRB to TO orient VV your PP$ card NN to TO swipe VV it PP through IN the DT reader NN , , the DT checkout NN person NN will MD say VV , , Strip NP down RB , , face VVP toward IN me PP . SENT Am VBP I PP wrong JJ , , or CC is VBZ this DT just RB asking VVG for IN trouble NN . SENT Cigarettes NNS are VBP a DT much RB cheaper JJR and CC more RBR widely RB available JJ alternative NN to TO nicotine NN patches NNS . SENT Welcome UH to TO Arizona NP . SENT . SENT . SENT NOW RB GO VV HOME NP . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT If IN you PP can't VVD eat VV it PP nor CC fuck VV it PP , , piss VV on IN it PP . SENT Dog NN philosophy NN . SENT When WRB you're NN hungry JJ , , eat VV . SENT When WRB you're NN tired JJ , , nap NN in IN a DT sunbeam NN . SENT When WRB you PP go VVP to TO the DT vet NN , , pee NN on IN your PP$ owner NN . SENT Cat NP philosophy NN Gary NP Smith NP . SENT Never RB buy VV a DT pitbull NN from IN a DT one CD armed JJ man NN . SENT Optimist NN nm NN . SENT . SENT a DT Yugo NP owner NN with IN a DT trailer NN hitch NN . SENT Thesaurus NN nm NN . SENT . SENT a DT dinosaur NN with IN an DT excellent JJ vocabulary NN . SENT I PP went VVD to TO a DT bookstore NN and CC asked VVD the DT saleswoman NN , , Where's NP the DT self NN help NN section NN . SENT She PP said VVD if IN she PP told VVD me PP , , it PP would MD defeat VV the DT purpose NN . SENT You PP know VVP it's JJ gonna VVG be VB a DT bad JJ day NN when WRB . SENT . SENT . SENT the DT sun NN comes VVZ up RP in IN the DT west NN . SENT you PP jump VVP out RP of IN bed NN and CC miss VV the DT floor NN . SENT the DT bird NN singing NN outside IN your PP$ window NN is VBZ a DT buzzard NN . SENT you PP put VVD both DT contact NN lenses NNS in IN the DT same JJ eye NN . SENT your PP$ pet JJ rock NN snaps VVZ at IN you PP . SENT the DT blind JJ date NN turns VVZ out RP to TO be VB your PP$ ex JJ wife NN . SENT your PP$ income NN tax NN refund NN check NN bounces VVZ . SENT you PP put VVD your PP$ bra NN on IN backwards JJ and CC it PP fits VVZ better RBR . SENT Suicide NN Prevention NN puts VVZ you PP on IN hold NN . SENT . SENT . SENT You PP have VHP the DT right NN to TO remain VV silent JJ . SENT Anything NN you PP say VVP will MD be VB misquoted VVN , , then RB used VVN against IN you PP . SENT Bumper NN sticker NN . SENT The DT world NN is VBZ NOT RB any DT worse JJR . SENT it PP is VBZ just RB that IN the DT news NN coverage NN is VBZ better JJR . SENT I'm NP glad JJ cavepeople NN didn't NN invent VVP television NN , , because IN they PP would MD have VH just RB sat VVN around RB and CC watched VVN talk NN shows VVZ all DT day NN instead RB of IN creating VVG tools NNS . SENT Dave NP James NP . SENT When WRB I PP was VBD little JJ , , I PP stepped VVD on IN a DT nail NN to TO see VV if IN I PP could MD bend VV it PP with IN my PP$ bare JJ foot NN . SENT One CD tetanus NN shot NN later RBR , , I PP came VVD to TO the DT conclusion NN that IN I PP was VBD not RB Superman NN , , but CC a DT slightly RB younger JJR , , dumber JJR , , fatter JJR Batman NP . SENT Zach NP Patterson NP . SENT Whenever WRB my PP$ kids NNS are VBP having VHG trouble NN at IN school NN , , I PP like VVP to TO tell VV them PP about IN myself PP when WRB I PP was VBD a DT kid NN . SENT I PP wasn't VVD very RB big JJ , , I PP wasn't VVD the DT smartest JJS , , I PP wasn't VVD the DT best JJS in IN sports NNS and CC , , yes UH , , I PP did VVD get VV beat VV up RP a DT lot NN . SENT Unfortunately RB , , that's NNS where WRB the DT story NN ends VVZ , , so RB it PP doesn't VVD usually RB cheer VV them PP up RP much RB . SENT Alf NP Whit NP . SENT There EX are VBP basically RB three CD kinds NNS of IN men NNS . SENT There EX are VBP the DT ones NNS who WP learn VVP by IN reading NN . SENT Then RB there EX are VBP the DT few JJ who WP learn VVP by IN observation NN . SENT The DT rest VVP just RB have VH to TO pee VV on IN the DT electric JJ fence NN for IN themselves PP . SENT I've NNS been VBN on IN helicopters NNS , , and CC I PP like VVP them PP because IN they PP can MD land VV just RB about RB anywhere RB . SENT Which WDT is VBZ where WRB I PP want VVP to TO land VV the DT moment NN they PP take VVP off RP . SENT Mike NP Royko NP . SENT It PP matters VVZ not RB whether IN you PP win VVP or CC lose VVP . SENT what WP matters VVZ is VBZ whether IN I PP win VVP or CC lose VVP . SENT Darrin NP Weinberg NP . SENT People NNS are VBP like IN sausages NNS . SENT it's NNS what's NNS under IN the DT skin NN that's NNS important JJ . SENT So RB poke VV them PP with IN a DT fork VV periodically RB . SENT Nothing NN is VBZ quite RB so RB annoying VVG as RB to TO have VH someone NN go VV right RB on IN talking VVG when WRB you're JJ interrupting VVG . SENT Talk NN is VBZ cheap JJ because IN supply NN exceeds VVZ demand NN . SENT Thank VV you PP , , but CC I PP have VHP other JJ plans NNS . SENT Response NN to TO Have VH a DT nice JJ day NN suggested VVN by IN Paul NP Fussel NP . SENT A DT fortunetelling JJ midget NN escapes NNS from IN prison NN . SENT The DT headline NN reads VVZ Small JJ Medium NN at IN Large JJ . SENT If IN indeed RB there's RB no DT such JJ thing NN as IN a DT stupid JJ question NN , , then RB how WRB do VV you PP explain VV this DT one NN . SENT Ed NP Smith NP . SENT Why WRB is VBZ there RB so RB much JJ month NN left VVN at IN the DT end NN of IN the DT money NN . SENT Heaven NN is VBZ where WRB . SENT the DT police NNS are VBP British JJ , , the DT cooks NNS are VBP French JJ , , the DT mechanics NNS are VBP German JJ , , the DT lovers NNS are VBP Italian JJ , , and CC all DT is VBZ organized VVN by IN the DT Swiss JJ . SENT Hell NN is VBZ where WRB . SENT the DT police NNS are VBP German JJ , , the DT cooks NNS are VBP British JJ , , the DT mechanics NNS are VBP French JJ , , the DT lovers NNS are VBP Swiss JJ , , and CC all DT is VBZ organized VVN by IN the DT Italians NNS . SENT And CC one PP just RB for IN you PP . SENT You PP are VBP wise JJ , , witty JJ , , and CC wonderful JJ , , but CC you PP spend VVP too RB much JJ time NN reading VVG this DT sort NN of IN trash NN . SENT Back RB to TO my PP$ humor NN index NN or CC my PP$ home NN page NN . SENT